Meet the team

 

I take this business very seriously. Unlike some people...

 

From left to right:

Gav (The Chav) - Or as I like to call him...my bitch!

Looking quite pleased with himself here. Don't know why because he's usually f***ing things up...

Duties include:

• Moaning
• Doing stuff I don't want to do
• More moaning
• Putting on a little bit of weight
• Saying 'That'll do, they'll never notice'

Lou - Or as I like to call her...the bitch!

No, I didn't get her from a 'Care in the Community' program. And she doesn't have a big ear and weird forearm. It's just the picture.

Duties include:

• Moaning
• Putting dents in finished cues
• Being bored
• Making tea, but then secretly eating something before bringing it back
• Saying 'What split? Well it wasn't there when I was working on it...'

Me - Or according to them - the a***hole!

Admittedly not a good picture, but I'm not photogenic, and I don't like smiling. Not around these two anyway. At least I haven't got a giant ear and forearm...

Duties include:

• Having to re-do jobs they did wrong
• Paying for things they damage or break
• Singing
• Not agreeing with the minimum wage
• Saying 'What the f*** are you doing? You w***er! F*** off home then!'